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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

"So What Makes You Happy?"

A couple months back, think it's been close to three months now, a friend of mine asked me this question.  "So what makes you happy?"  Seems simple enough right?  But not so much when you're depressed and confused.  I mean there's stuff I like but is that what truly makes me happy?  I had no real answer.  After giving it some thought I spouted out some generic nonsense that seemed right at the time.

Days later I had thought I had figured it out.  But again I was really just guessing.  I wasn't honestly sure what I like or what makes me really happy anymore.  Over the years the things that have made me happy have gone from cartoons, to games, to drugs, to money, to specific people or places.  It's been varied enough to leave me unsure about what it is that makes me truly happy.

Well a lot has happened since then.  A lot of amazingly good and amazingly bad.  And then last weekend I woke up in a strange mood one day and was again asked that same question by the same people.  I had a better idea this time, but sort of laughed it off and let it go because some of the things that make me happy seemed like I shouldn't admit to them.

Today I got to see a psychiatrist to get my surgical clearance letter.  And then my therapist a few hours later.  I talked about a lot.  Thought about a lot.  And realized when recapping my life story for the millionth time what really matters.  What things make me really happy.  That kind of happy that you want all the time and can't live without.  And I feel embarrassed admitting to some of this.  But these are the things that make me happy.  These are the things that always bring a smile to my face.  The things that I love the most.  The things that make me who I am.

So, what makes me happy?  Here's my top 15 in order:

  1. Friends
  2. Love
  3. Cuddling
  4. Chocolate Milk
  5. Sex
  6. Music
  7. Stupid Humour
  8. Helping Others
  9. Marijuana
  10. Dancing
  11. My Cats
  12. Beer
  13. Games
  14. Looking Good (and being able to be myself)
  15. Figuring Things Out

So there's my answer finally.  Will this list be the same in a year?  I don't know.  Will it be the same when I wake up tomorrow?  Don't know that either.  What I do know?  It's accurate right now as I am typing this.  :-)
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2 comments:

  1. Krysta Lynn CascioAugust 1, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    And yes, Chocolate Milk ranks higher than Sex. That is not a mistake. I may love sex and want it all the time but I can and have gone 15 years without after my really bad years. However, if I go more then 2 or 3 days without Chocolate Milk I become restless, hostile, literally start shaking and sweating and having anxiety. I'm more addicted to Chocolate Milk than sex, pot, anything. And I've been hooked for as far back as I can remember into my earliest childhood.

    ReplyDelete
  2. PaisleyAugust 2, 2012 at 1:33 AM

    Then drink it down, my love. Throw your head back and gulp it right out of the jug. You deserve it.

    ReplyDelete

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