Sunday, February 26, 2012


Many, many times I have been asked what my orientation is. Time and time again I get that question, "do you like men or women?" as if that's the only 2 choices in a close-minded binary world. Hating labels and not really having an appropriate term in our limited language, I would struggle to come up with an explanation that made sense. Often times I would start out saying "bisexual" then explain that that's not entirely correct because it brings us back to the binary lie when gender is a continuum and not binary. Saying bisexual would exclude all those intersex, two-spirited, transsexual, and 1000 other terms for people that fall into those beautiful levels of gray between the binary illusion of "male" and "female". More often then not I'd spend so long trying to explain it that I'd leave the person more confused than before they asked.

I've heard 100's of other terms for sexual orientations though over the last year. And again as much as I hate labels I had to wonder if one of them was more accurate than bisexual plus a 3 minute explanation of how it's wrong. Well last night one of my good friends and I were talking and the term "pansexual" came up. And I inquired what his definition of that term was. I really liked the answer.

So today, being the overly curious person that I am. I started looking things up online. First thing I did was search Wikipedia for the word pansexual. I mean really, don't all information searches start with either Wikipedia or Google? Anyhow, I was reading through the definition, which I have included at the bottom of this post. I got through the definition and etymology and was like hey, this is exactly what I am all summed up in one word. And so much easier to explain than what i was saying.

But then I thought to myself of all those other terms I heard and maybe there was a better one that would fit me in particular. Even though this one seemed 100% right on the mark. So I kept reading the pansexual entry at the bottom of the page under the title "In the media". The VERY FIRST LINE under that? A reference to Doctor Who and Torchwood! I'm like, "Ok Goddess, I get it. I see your signs. I'm pansexual, got ya, thanks." :)

Courtesy of Wikipedia:
Pansexuality, also referred to as omnisexuality, refers to the potential for sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward individuals of all gender identities, biological sexes, and multiple taxonomical species. Self-identified pansexuals may refer to themselves as gender-blind—that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others. The Oxford English Dictionary writes that pansexuality is defined as "not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regards to gender or activity."

The concept of pansexuality deliberately rejects the gender binary, the "notion of two genders and indeed of specific sexual orientations", as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women. Pansexuality can also mean the attraction to a person's personality, rather than their physical appearance or gender.


The prefix pan- comes from an Ancient Greek term meaning "all" or "every". Omni- comes from a Latin term meaning "all". Poly- also comes from Ancient Greek and means "many" or "much." "Pansexual" is derived from the word "pansexualism," dated back to 1917, which is the view "that the sex instinct plays the primary part in all human activity, mental and physical". Credited to Sigmund Freud, it is a term of reproach leveled at early psychology, and is also defined as "the pervasion of all conduct and experience with sexual emotions".

The conceptualization of "pansexuality" as distinct from "pansexualism" contrasts with predominant prefixes attached to the -sexual and -gender roots. Traditional thought employs the prefixes hetero- (opposite), homo- (same), bi- (two) and trans- ('across'). A Transgender identity, opens up a gender continuum rather than a gender binary rubric but does not discard or disregard the idea of gender altogether.

Compared with bisexuality

A literal dictionary definition of bisexuality, due to the prefix bi-, is sexual or romantic attraction to two sexes (males and females), or to two genders (men and women). Pansexuality, however, composed with the prefix pan-, is the sexual attraction to people of all sexes or genders. Using these definitions, pansexuality is different in that it includes people who are intersex and/or fall outside the gender binary.

Bisexual-identified people may object to this distinction, arguing that since bisexual is not simply about attraction to two sexes and encompasses gender as well, it can include attraction to more than two genders, as "gender" is a more complex issue; for example, gender identities that are wholly similar to each other.

In the media

Writer Russell T Davies introduced Captain Jack Harkness, of British series' Doctor Who and Torchwood, with the intention of properly introducing bisexuality to the British public. However, the term "omnisexual" is also frequently used by cast and crew to describe the character; its use is intended to highlight that Jack does not discriminate between humans and aliens. Actor John Barrowman explains that in Torchwood's usage, it is an "in-universe" term; Jack represents in real-world terms the representative portrayal of a bisexual man in a lead role on television. "[He]’s bisexual, but in the realm of the show, we call him omnisexual, because on the show, [the characters] also have sex with aliens who take human form, and sex with male-male, women-women, all sorts of combinations."

Franky Fitzgerald, played by Dakota Blue Richards, is a pansexual and androgynous girl from the UK show Skins (TV series) season 5, and stated that she was "into people" when asked about her sexuality. Richards has denied rumours that her character is homosexual, and has said that Franky is an 'outsider', and that she doesn't want to be seen as male, female, gay or straight. Episode 7 of the series reveals her to be pansexual.

Lisbeth Salander, heroine of the popular The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, is identified as simply enjoying sex and not minding much with whom she is enjoying it.

Edited this to remove the term hermaphrodite as I've since learned that hermaphrodites don't really exist in humans. Still learning new stuff every day. lol

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

2011 - A Very Brief Recap (Well... Brief for Me...)

Well, it's already Feb. 1st, 2012. Since December I have been wanting to post some sort of year in review thing. However, 2011 was one of those years that was truly crazy. Some of the best and worst things ever. A lot of it is private, a lot of it I've forgotten. So here's a list of what I remember that I am able to talk about.

Naturally, the first thing that comes to mind are the extremes. Let's start with the good stuff for a change.

As for the best, this year began a whole new chapter of my life. New friends, new responsibilities, new things going on left and right. This year brought me closer to my dad then I've ever been while pushing me further away from my mom. It's brought me a variety of new groups of friends, and led me to be very in touch with myself and who I am. Have made dozens of friends some of which have become like family already. There were a couple days with events that I will never forget, that were beyond words and almost surreal in their perfection. The most fun days and/or nights ever. Supercon in July and the after party after Camelot days were 2 of those days you never forget and talk about forever.

Started taking these amazing classes at the Yes Institute. Too complicated to explain here, but life changing amazing classes on gender, orientation, communication and really just on humanity more than anything else.

2011 also brought me back to my beliefs which I've not put time into for over a decade really. This year saw me attending drumming circles and pagan rites again. I've gone back to meditating daily and generally feel more at peace.

I've also returned hard core to that one world I love so very much. Sci-Fi, Gaming, Fantasy, Comic, Role-Playing, etc. Not only did this year find me returning to the convention scene with Supercon (where I got my pic taken with TRON Bruce Boxleitner, as well as getting to see several other celebs). But I've fallen in love with Doctor Who more than any other show ever. Was both the black-suited Spider-Girl and a member of the Green Lantern Corps for Halloween. Started Star Wars The Old Republic MMORPG in December. New EverQuest expansion and new guild for me this year putting me back up at the top of the rankings for druids on my server. Starting up a DnD group now but it's origins lie in discussions from late 2011. And of course the masterpiece of technology itself the Nintendo 3DS, purchased mine 5 days after release, it's amazing! Got to see the 4th Pirates of the Caribbean movie days early with the press thanks to my friend Norma.

There was several interesting flashbacks to my past as well. Got back in touch with several friends I knew 20 years ago, Rodney, Marla, Val, Greg, Randy, and others. As well as talking to some old high school classmates and discussing a possible reunion in the near future. Nice having all my friends from almost every period and aspect of my life all back in my life in a positive way.

2011 brought my dad and I much closer together. We've been through a lot of crazy stuff this year. And I feel closer to that whole side of my family now. As for my mom, while the year has been shaky for us, she got back in touch with a couple old friends and relateives, some of which I have not seen since I was a child.

As for the neutral stuff. My medical condtions remain unchanged. After having a colonoscopy in December we discovered that I am not better. My Crohn's is not in remission, it just hasn't gotten worse, or better. My GI Doc did this procedure hoping, based on how I have been feeling the last 2 years, that he'd be able to lower my dosages of meds. After having done the procedure he said that if he could he's raise them. That was discouraging. So I'm remaining on the same dose of Humira and Methotrexate every week, sub-q injetions. Which is not a good combo as it seriously cripples my immune system amongst other things.

For the bad stuff. Well, the saddest would be the fact that I had pets die this year. Snuggles, big dog, half shepherd and half chow, don't ask heh. Was always an odd dog. She had distemper as a puppy, they told us it affected her mentally when we got her from human society. She grew up to have a variety of odd quirks including she would walk backwards sometimes and you'd see her licking the air all crazy, sometimes she'd do that Stevie Wonder thing with her head too. But she was a big lovable teddy bear. Within a month or two she developed some sort of mouth cancer, became unable to eat, unable to control going to the bathroom, and her mouth was literally decaying. We had to have her put to sleep. We had her about 12ish years I believe. I was barely over that when our cat Cloud died. He was a ragdoll cat, huge solid white and deaf as a stone. Massive cat weighed over 40 pounds had eyeballs the size of ping pong balls and a head bigger than a softball. He within a couple weeks dropped to under 10 pounds, then finally just laid down and gave out. We had him about 14 years. Both very sad, I still think about them all the time.

More material bad things, my mom had 2 blowouts and several times her car didn't start. We had several financial crisis where we couldn't pay bills and had to beg for help from my dad or the government or borrow money and stuff. Been the usual rough year of not being able to survive financially.

Had several issues with my mom that went on for weeks or months of misery every day all day. Things somewhat better now.

Probably the worst thing was my friend Rodney got in trouble again. Not getting into specifics but he got into some major trouble and the outcome is still not fully determined. He's one of five people I've ever considered a best friend (only 4 of which are even alive) and I hate to see anything happen to him.

And so there we are, 2011 is over. It was the best of times it was the worst of times. lol Im sure there's a ton of things I have forgotten or completely overlooked but these are the events that stuck with me. And while I could elaborate extensively on each thing, let's just say 2011 was one hell of a roller coaster ride.