Tonight my mom bought me a pair of cheap ass sneakers. Not sure why I was suddenly motivated to get sneakers tonight but I really wanted a pair.
Well, these are the first sneakers I've owned in 24 years. Last time I owned sneakers we old folks still called them tennis shoes.
Anyone reading this is at this point wondering what the hell... Well, 24 years ago is when I was first starting to identify as transgender. Took two years before I officially stuck that label on myself. But I knew I didn't want anything to do with anything stereotypically considered "male". And in my mind sneakers were masculine, they meant activities like sports, exercise, things that would lead to building up muscles and becoming more guy like.
Of course now I realize how ridiculous that is. But back then I had a totally different view of everything. And so for 24 years I wore nothing but heels and boots. Even when working or forced to dress more "male" I wore boots. But not anymore. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm still going to usually wear boots cause I freaking love boots! And heels. And boots WITH heels! *drool* But, sneakers too. Especially with my yoga pants instead of those lace up heels that are 15ish years old and look it.
It's funny when I think about it. Before surgery I felt no matter what I did or what I wore I still looked like a guy. And now after surgery I feel like no matter what I do or what I wear I still look like a woman. Makes no real sense logically. I mean I don't look THAT different. It's not like I'm walking around naked.
Just an interesting observation about myself. And shoes.
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