Well, so my mind is blown yet again. So here's the setting. Eating dinner with my parents, about 5:00 p.m. EST. We're at a local restaurant chain called Flanigan's. We've all eaten way too much. And we were going through pitchers of Yuengling. I got my mom hooked on Yuengling about a month ago, kinda funny. I had this amazing burger worthy of a brief digression. Texas burger. had so much stuff on it I can't even remember. It had swiss cheese melted and chunks of bleu cheese, bacon, onion rings, lettuce, tomato, who knows what else. Anyhow, so my phone vibrates in my purse next to me. After a few minutes of being lazy I finally check thinking it was a text from one of my friends. Had a missed call, Dr. Marci Bowers. *this is the part where my brain exploded because I knew there was only one reason they would be calling me...*
And so BAM there is was. THE call. I've been saying, "she could call any time." I guess in my heart I partially didn't think there would end up being a cancellation. And even if there was I figured it would be get a call in October or November to come in late December. We haven't even been back a month yet.
So, my dad tells me to call her back. Like no kidding. So I called. Got Robin, who works in the Trinidad, Colorado office and handles all the scheduling, phone calls, apparently all the paperwork and everything. Poor woman must be overworked. She's the only person I've even dealt with the entire time so far. And so she confirmed my assumption that there was a cancellation. And she asked if October 17th was ok. I didn't even know how to respond. My dad was also at a loss for what to say. We clearly were not prepared for that call. I asked her if it was ok to call her back tomorrow. She said yes and that she'd pencil me in tentatively for that day.
Many hours of arguing took place at this point. Me, I was still mind blown over the fact that this was happening so soon just like that. Started having so many different thoughts and emotions, good, bad and indifferent. Was and frankly still am feeling EVERY emotion. Happy, sad, mad, giddy, shocked, scared, excited, anxious, overwhelmed, and a million others all at once. In the end my dad agreed we should keep the October date and just get it over with. I want to be done with this too of course. And closer means less time to worry. Why drag it out longer, right?
Tomorrow I will call Robin and tell her yes. She will then send me the infamous packet that explains what to do, what to bring, payment, just all the details about everything. And I have a few questions. My dad wants to talk to her as well, but for stupid reasons. He wants hotel and car rental suggestions and stuff. I'm like seriously that THIS is what you're worried about? Priorities dad, for real.
My brain still hasn't fully processed it all. Have so many emotions, thoughts, ideas, questions.
Intense.
---UPDATE---
It's the next day. I called. Gender Reaffirming Surgery is confirmed with Dr. Marci L. Bowers in San Mateo, California for October 17th, 2012. And they're contacting Dr. Beck that works with her to see if he's free that day to do breast augmentation at the same time. They said probably. The information packet will be sent out either today or in the next day and I should get it by next week.
All those nights of falling asleep and having dreams where I already had all the right parts. Only to wake up and find myself still in this body. All those years wishing I'd go to sleep and wake up different. And as a friend just told me, that's exactly what's going to happen. On Oct. 17th, I'm going to go to sleep, probably very hungry and with watery diarrhea from the prep, and likely in pain as I know from past surgeries my bad lower back does NOT agree with those flat hard metal surgical tables. And then I'm going to wake up, in pain, all doped up on pain meds that likely won't be strong enough, but with boobs 1 to 2 cup sizes bigger, and female bottom parts. Just like that. The many hours of hard work and surgery they do will be nothing to me. To me, from my point of view, it will be exactly like I always hoped. I'll go to sleep and wake up from that dream but this time the dream won't end when I awaken. :-)
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